Mature Jokes


Wine Connoisseur

At a wine merchants, the regular taster died and the director started looking FOR a new one to hire. A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position. The director of the winery wondered how to send him away...

Drinks on The House

An Italian, a German, and a Polack were sitting in a Manhattan bar. After six drinks the Italian says, "That`s six drinks and we haven`t even gotten a free one yet, down in little Italy there`s a bar where every fourth...

Delayed Ejaculation!!!

A ninety year old man lived in a rest home and got a weekend pass. He stopped in his favorite bar and sat at the end and ordered a drink. He noticed a seventy year old woman at the other end of the bar and he told the bartender to buy the lovely young lady...

Large and Stiff

After noticing a beautiful young blonde sitting on her own in a pub, a suave, sophisticated young man confidently strolled over to the table where she was sat and said: What can I get you, gorgeous...

Chick With a Big Butt & Long Legs

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What`s yours?"
"I`ll have the same...

Drinks on the House

A man walks into a bar and announces, "Drinks on the house for everyone, except that queer at the end of the bar."
A little while later he again announces, "Drinks on the house for everybody, except that queer at the end of the bar."
The queer was getting kind of upset when...

Date Rape Drug Warning!!!

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, partygoers and unsuspecting pub regulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. A date rape drug on the market called "Beer" is used by many females to...

A Stiff One

After noticing a beautiful young blonde sitting on her own in a pub, a suave, sophisticated young man confidently strolled over to the table where she was sat and said, "What can I get you...

The Perverted Abuser

A married couple sitting in a restaurant enjoying their dinner, halfway through the main course the man excuses himself and goes to the toilet. The woman sits there alone and decides to touch up her...

Time for Some Quickies

Boyfriend 1: Can I touch your boobs?
Girlfriend 1: Shut up!!!!
Boyfriend 2: Can I touch...