Mature Jokes


First Blowjob

A young guy walks into a bar and orders 10 brandies, the barman lines them up and knocks them all back one after the other.
Wow says barman what you celebrating...

Best Steak

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barman charges him 10 cents. Confused, but not complaining, the man pays. After a while he decides to have another, and some food, so he orders...

How many does it take?

Joe is having a drink in his local bar when in walks this gorgeous woman. Joe, not being too shy, goes up and sits next to her. He buys her a drink and then another and then...

Make Him Puke

A policeman cruising past a bar after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out front. He goes around the back of the pub only to find two bikers, one with his fingers...

Alcohol Poisoning

A man walks into a cocktail lounge and approaches a reasonably attractive lady sitting by herself, "May I buy you a cocktail...

Toilet Scribble

Returning from the men's room, a bar customer was shaking his head.
"What's the matter?" inquired the bartender.
"While I was in the bathroom...

Bodybuilder's Date

A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and...

Negotiations

Two strangers, a man and woman are seated at a dinner party together.

The man turns to the woman and says, "I've got a hypothetical question for you miss...

First Sex Experience

A Farmer was plowing a field and his neighbor came over to see how he was doing. When the farmer was done he came over to talk to his neighbor, the neighbor told...

Hairy Pits

A woman with really hairy underarms boards a crowded bus. Unable to find a seat, she settles for hanging onto one of the poles. A drunk man next to her stares at her...