Mature Jokes



Natural hair!

'Miss Veronica, we can't employ you as a model,' the editor from the men's magazine explained.
'Why?'
'It's too obvious that your blonde hair isn't natural, since the hair between your legs..

No Choclate

This Blonde goes to a restaurant and orders a scoop of vanilla ice cream, a scoop of strawberry ice cream and a scoop of chocolate ice cream. The waiter says, 'Miss, we have no chocolate.'
So the Blonde says that`s okay she will have a vanilla milk shake, a strawberry milk shake and a chocolate milk shake.
Once again the waiter tells her...

Deaf and Mute

A blonde agrees to accompany a young guy on a date. On the fixed night this guy arrives at her house and knocks the door. To his surprise, she answers the door in nothing but a towel.
'I`m sorry,' she exclaims, 'I am running a bit late. Please come in and I`ll introduce you to my parents who will entertain you while I...

What a way to die

A Blonde was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing.
'Damn, that was stupid, ' she thought as she fell. 'What a way to die.'
As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.
While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, 'Do you suck?'
'No!' she shrieked, aghast.
So, he...

Nudist Colony

A blonde joins a nudist colony, takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A 6-foot girl walks by him; the blonde gets a hard-on.
Girl, 'Sir, did you call for me?
Blonde, 'No, I just got here.'
Girl, 'You must be new here; it`s a rule when I give you a hard-on, it implies...

Stranger !!

Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play raquetball, suddenly, a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head and passes the three women.
He passes the first woman, who looks down at his penis and said...

Calling Home !

A blonde went into a world wide message centre (PCO) to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $30, she exclaimed: 'I don`t have any money. But I`d do...

Natural Blonde !

'Miss Jones, we can`t employ you as a model,' the editor from the men`s magazine explained. 'It`s too obvious that your blonde hair isn`t natural, since the hair between your legs is black.'
The model picked up a paperweight and

Breast Feeding !!

A blonde woman is walking down the street, with her blouse open. A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, 'Boy, my eyes must be going, it looks like that woman`s right breast is...

Another breathalyzer !!

One day a police officer pulls over a car for speeding. The driver turns out to be a gorgeous blond woman. 'I`ve pulled you over for speeding, Ma`am.... Could I see your driver`s license and registration...