Mature Jokes



The Fisherman and the Golden Fish

A man caught a goldfish and as always...
"Let me go and I will grant you a wish" said the goldfish.
"But I don`t need anything. I have a house, a summer house by the sea, cars, a cottage in the mountains, a yacht, more than enough money...

Simple Sxplanation

A father shows up at his daughter`s home and finds his son-in-law angrily packing his bags.
"What`s wrong?" he asks.
"I texted my wife that I was coming home...

Well Endowed Husband

A woman from Alabama, who knew absolutely nothing about sex, fell in love with a man and agreed to marry him. As their wedding day approached, she became very nervous about her impending deflowering...

Happiest Couple

As the groom entered the church, the best man noticed he had the biggest, brightest smile on his face. "Boy, you sure look happy to be getting married."
The groom replied...

Smoking Fewer Cigarettes

I knew a girl at work once who was truly concerned about her husband`s smoking. She told me that she had finally gotten him to agree to limit his smoking at home to only those times when...

Men Don't Ask For Directions

A man and a woman were engaged in heated sexual intercourse. The woman was screaming and wiggling like she had never before. Afterwards, she flings the lights on and stares him straight in the eyes...

Christmas Gifts

The very snobbish wife was discussing the subject of Christmas presents with her maid. "Now what about the butler?" the rich woman said.
"A set of wine glasses?" the maid suggested...

Performance vs Rehearsal

A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon. He says to his buddy at lunch, "Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had ourselves...

Sex Maniac!!!

Jones, who had been away on an extended trip, had very romantic plans for his first night home. He broached them to his wife, who promptly said, "Oh, I`m sorry, dear, but I`ve got to do all of this laundry...

Masturbating With A Condom

A young couple with a box of condoms proceeded to do the wild thing. When they were finished, she discovered that there were only six condoms remaining in the box of 12, so she asked him...