Mature Jokes


Pregnant Footballer

There was an soccer player anxious to make it into one of the Premier league teams. When he found out about the trials being held he held a party with his chums. One of them brought along some Marijuana...

The Rules of Bedroom Golf

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play.
2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole...

Love Juice!!!

Little billy was watching TV in his bedroom. He comes downstairs and asks, "Dad, what`s love juice?"
His father looks at him horrified and tells him all about sex and why a woman`s vagina gets wet...

Tight Brown or The Easy Pink?

Steve Davis, the world champion snooker player, got married and it was the first night of his honeymoon. His beautiful wife lay spread across the bed wearing only a scanty silken black nightdress. Presently Steve came out of the bathroom totally naked...

Race Tips from Australia

A bloke was having a few drinks by himself at a Sydney casino when he met up with a striking but quite short and slim young woman. They got on famously and ended up in bed. The next morning she told him she was a jockey...

And They're Off...

Conscience is left behind at the gate... Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured and Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs, and Big Dick is in a dangerous spot... AT THE HALFWAY MARK...

Limp Pricks !!!

A slave call girl from Sardinia named Gedophamee was attending a great but as yet unnamed athletic festival 2500 years ago in Greece. In those days, believe it or not, the athletes performed naked...

Never Trust A Cricketer

Come all ye fair young maidens and harken unto me,
Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
Randier than a sailor who`s been six months at sea,
Never let a cricketer`s hand an inch above your...

Football vs Sex

1. Going to your bf/gf without being invited = OFFSIDE.
2. Dating a girl today and having sex on the same day = FREE-KICK.
3. Condom = GOALKEEPER...

Girls Track Team

The ambitious coach of a girls track team gives the squad steroids. The team`s performance soars. They win the county and state championship until one day they are favoured...