| A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind." The pastor shouted out, "CROSS." Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, "THE OLD RUGGED CROSS." The pastor hollered out, "GRACE." The congregation began to sing, "AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound." The pastor said, "POWER." The congregation sang, "THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD." The Pastor said, "SEX!" The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing, "PRECIOUS MEMORIES." |
| A young scholar from New York was invited to become Rabbi in a small old community in Chicago. On his very first Shabbat, a hot debate erupted as to whether one should or should not stand during the reading of the Ten Commandments. The next day, the rabbi visited 98 year-old Mr. Katz in the nursing home. `Mr. Katz, I'm asking you as the oldest member of the community"` said the rabbi, "what is our synagogue's custom during the reading of the Ten Commandments?" "Why do you ask?" asked Mr. Katz. "Yesterday we read the Ten Commandments. Some people stood, some people sat. The ones standing started screaming at the ones sitting, telling them to stand up. The ones sitting started screaming at the ones standing, telling them to sit down..." "That," said the old man, "is our custom." |
| During Sermon on a Sunday service, the Pastor said, "If I had all the Beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." And the congregation cried, "Amen! " "And if I had all the Wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it in the river." And the congregation cried: "Amen!" "And if I had all the Whiskey and Rum in the world, I'd take it all and throw it in the river." Again the congregation cried, "Amen!..." The Pastor sat down. The Junior Pastor then stood up and said, "For our closing Hymn, let's turn to page 126 of our Hymn books and sing, "We shall drink from the river." The whole Congregation SCREAMED *HALLELUJAH!* |
| "Anyone with 'needs' to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar," the Preacher said. Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?" Leroy replies, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy's head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue streak for Leroy; the whole congregation joined in with enthusiasm. After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?" Leroy says, "I don't know, Reverend, it ain't 'til next Wednesday." |