| Well, a couple months back there was this trial in the West Virginia courts. A man was being tried for fornicating with a sheep, since that`s illegal an` all. Anyway, the key witness was an old fella who was walking along the highway by the farm where the sheep was raised. The prosecutor asked the witness what he saw: "Well, I was walkin` along, and saw this sheep just`a eatin` grass. And then this fella walks up from behind the sheep, real quiet-like." "And then what?" asked the prosecutor. "Then he unbuckled his belt, and pulled the sheep close." "And what happened after that?" "Well," said the witness, "they sort of shook for a couple of minutes. Then, afterwards, the sheep turned around... an` licked him!" Just then one of the members of the jury leaned over to the jury member next to him and said, "You know... a good sheep`ll do that." |
| An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never been (sexually) with a woman. After several nsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad. She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback. They end up getting married. On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the festivities. "I`ve never been with a woman" he says, "but if it`s anything like screwing a kangaroo... I`m gonna need all the room I can get!" |
| A princess is walking along a pond in the royal gardens when she looks down and sees a really ugly frog. Picking the frog up, she comments on the creature`s rather hideous appearance. Princess: "My, but you are really an ugly frog!" Frog: "I know, I know, I got a really bad spell on me." Princess: "Well I`ve seen frogs with spells, but none as ugly as you." Frog: "Look, leave me alone lady. I told you, it`s a really bad spell." Princess: "Well even so, if I kiss you will you turn into a prince?" Frog: "I don`t know lady, a spell this bad will probably take a blow job." |
| A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom`s annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love-making. Still no success. Then he said, "Look. Let`s both get on top and try." At that point the parrot yanked away the towel and said, "Zoo or no zoo. This... I gotta see !!!" |