| The wax museum just acquired a very good wax figure of ex prez Bill Clinton. They had it arranged to show him in an authoritative stance in front of several staff members set on a stage made up like the oval office. After the figure had been on display for a couple of days, the museum employees were constantly having to go in and rezip Bill's zipper, it kept falling to the 'down' position. They even went so far as to sew it in place, but that too met with some foul play, and the zipper was found ripped loose and in the down position. So, to get to the bottom of this mystery, the museum installed a hidden camera to catch the culprit. They did. and it was more than just one. During the course of one day no less than 18 different women stepped into the exhibit, got down on their knees, unzipped that zipper then placed their head on 'his' trousers and had a friend snap their photo. |
| Lee Trevino is a considered one of the best golf players in history and has a net worth over $40 Million. He's Hispanic and lives with his beautiful wife in Dallas, Texas. One day he was out cutting the grass, as he does every week. A lady driving by in a sleek new Tesla S stopped in front of his house and motioned for him to come to her car. Lee drove his Toro Zero turn mower to her car and waited for her to lower the window. The lady said, "Excuse me, do you speak English?" Lee responded, "Yes Ma'am, I do." The lady then asked, "What do you charge to do yard work?" Lee said, "Well, the woman in this house lets me sleep with her." The lady's eyes got big, she then turned red and sped off in the Tesla without a reply. No one knows if she ever returned to take him up on his offer. |
| 1) Some women's legs are like rumors, they just keep on spreading. 2) If you are ugly; you are ugly - stop talking about inner beauty because we don't walk around with X-rays. 3) Dear sister, don't be deceived by a man who text you I miss you only when it's raining. You are not an umbrella. 4) Check your girlfriend's body, if she has more tattoos or piercings, you can cheat on her. She is already used to pain. 5) Dating a slim or slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face. 6) It's better for a man to be stingy with the money he has hustled for, than for a woman to deny you a hole that she didn't even drill it herself. 7) Some of you girls can't even jog for 5 minutes but expect a guy to last in bed with you for 2 hours??? Your level of selfishness demands a one week crusade. 8) If women think having their period (menstruation) in a whole month is a difficult task, they should ask the men how difficult is it to control an erected Penis in public. 9) No sex before marriage? If that was God's plan you would receive your Penis or Vagina on your wedding day. 10) Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a girlfriend. 11) Sucking breast is a survival skill guys learnt at birth. But as to how and where girls learnt the act of sucking dicks still baffles me... 12) Swimming pool is much more useful than the Liverpool football club. |
| Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie. "Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!" she exclaimed. "No," said the genie, "You have been very bad recently, and because of this, I can only give you one wish." "Let's see," says Monica, "I don't need fame, because I have plenty of that due to all of the media coverage. And I don't need money, because after I write my book, and do all my interviews, I'll have all the money I could ever want. But, I would like to get rid of these love handles, though. Yes, that's it, for my one wish I would like my love handles removed." "Poof!" And just like that... her ears were gone. |