| A nine-year-old boy was shipwrecked on a desert island. Ten years passed without him seeing another living soul. Then, one day, walking along the beach, he discovered a beautiful young woman washed up on the beach, a victim of another shipwreck. As he told her his story, she asked, "But how have you survived all this time, alone?" The now nineteen-year-old man replied, "Oh, it's easy. I fish; I gather berries, coconuts and fruit; and I dig for clams." "But what do you do for sex?" He replied, "Sex!!! What's sex?" She started to explain, but decided it would be easier just to show him and show him and show him. When they were finally done, she gazed into his eyes and murmured, "Well, how do you like sex?" The young man said, `I love it. But look what you did to my clam digger!" |
| An elderly woman wobbled her way into a sex shop, approached the counter and, holding on to it for support, she asked the clerk, "Dddooo youuuu ssssssell dddddiilllldosss?" Trying hard not to break out laughing, the clerk replied, "Yes, ma'am, we do. Actually we have quite a variety of different models." She asked, "Dddddoooo yyyouuuu ccaarrryy aaa pppinkk onnee, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt tttwoo inchesss ththiickk?" The clerk responds, "Yes, we do." "Ddddooo yyoooouuuu knnnoooww hhhowww tttooo ttturrrnnn ttthe fffuuccckkkinggg ttthingggg offffff?" |
| The well proportioned though nearsighted secretary like to spend her lunch hour sunbathing on her office building's roof. Wanting an even facial tan, she always left her glasses lying on her desk. After a few days, she decided that, since no one could see her anyway, she might as well get a more "overall tan." No sooner than she had removed her bathing suit and stretched out, but she heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Since she was lying on her stomach, she just pulled her towel over her bottom. "Excuse me, miss," said the young man. "No one minds you sunbathing up here, but you really should wear a bathing suit." "What difference does it make?" she asked. `No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with this towel." "Not exactly," said the embarrassed waiter. "You're lying on the executive dining room skylight!" |
| One night a guy goes to get a room in a hotel. "Hello, I want a single room for the night please." "Fine, sir, here's one of our best rooms. Room 13," says the concierge and hands him the key. The guy goes upstairs, takes a shower and gets straight into bed. At about 2 o'clock in the morning, two gorgeous naked women come in and slide under the covers. When he realizes what is going on, he starts screwing both of them He can't believe what's happening. Next morning, still surprised by last night's events, he goes downstairs to settle the bill. "How was your room sir?" asks the receptionist. "Excellent, I will come back again. What do I owe you?" asks the man. "Well... actually, sir, we are doing a promotional offer. Not only do you not have to pay but we give you $10 as a welcome gesture," says the receptionist. "What?" says the guy, very surprised indeed. "That's amazing." He takes the ten-dollar bill and wanders off, debating whether his buddies will believe him or not. Needless to say, after a few days he's told all his friends and neighbors about room 13 and the amazing night of passion. The next week one of his buddies goes to check out the room. "Room 13 please." "Certainly, sir, here's your key." After he gets in bed, at the same time, 2 o'clock, three girls this time, extremely horny, get in bed and screw his brains out. The next morning, not only does he not have to pay, but he too gets $10. After a month, everyone knows this hotel and especially room 13. Everyone that stays in room 13 gets the same treatment: a good screw and a ten bucks. After a few weeks, the story reaches an archbishop. The archbishop decides to check the story out for himself. He visits the hotel and asks for room 13. He gets the keys and goes upstairs. After a couple of drinks he gets in bed waiting patiently for the naked girls to appear. Indeed at about 2 o'clock in the morning two naked ladies come to bed. They are as homy and wild as all the stories the archbishop has heard. The archbishop gets his pecker out and screws the both of them all night long. This is the night of his life. Next morning he goes to reception and when he asks how much the bill is, the receptionist says, "Nothing to pay, sir. Actually, we are doing an introductory offer. Here's $50 as a welcome gesture." Curious, the archbishop asks the receptionist, "Well, that's strange. Everyone else who comes here gets $10. Why do I get $50?" "Well, sir," says the receptionist. "This is the first time we've filmed a porn movie with an archbishop in it!" |