| A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door.She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there. He asks the lady, "Do you have a vagina?" She slams the door in disgust. The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man and he asks the same question of the woman, "Do you have a vagina?" She slams the door again. Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days. The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice, "Honey, I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again." The next morning they hear a knock and both run for the door. The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice, "Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to see where the bastard is going with it." She nods yes to her husband and opens the door. Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question, "Do you have vagina?" "Yes, actually I have one," she says. The man replies... "Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours?" |
| Joe's wife was sick. Very sick. None of the doctors could figure out what was wrong with her. He was about to go into her room and visit her when her doctor approached him. The doctor said, "These might be her last few days, so you should do whatever she asks of you, so that she may die happy." Well... Joe thought this over and decided that that was a great idea. He went in and they talked for about 3 hours. After awhile he asked her if there was anything that he could do for her. She thought for a little bit and said, "Make love to me. Eat my pussy.... Fuck me like you never have before..." He thought this was a little much in her condition, but since It might be one of the last times he sees her he decided to comply. The next day he came in, and her doctor said that she was much better, and he should do whatever he did yesterday. Well.. he walked in and they talked, and she requested they make passionate love again, and again he complied. After about 5 days of this she had fully recovered, and was able to go home. She walked into the living room to find that Joe was crying. She said, "What's the matter? I'm fine now. You have nothing to worry about." He replied, "I know, but all this time I can't stop thinking that I should have saved your sister." |
| A wife asks her husband, "Have you ever seen Twenty Dollars crumpled up?" She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 buttons of her blouse... and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra... and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar bill. He took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her... and smiled approvingly. "Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?" she then asked her husband? "Uh... no, I haven't," he said with an anxious tone in his voice. She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her tight, sheer panties and pulled out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill. He took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill... and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation. "Now," she said, "Have you ever seen $50,000 Dollars all crumpled up?" "No way," he said (while obviously becoming even more aroused... and excited). "Well go look in the garage!" |
| The Russian couple's sex life was terrible, so they were quite excited when Moscow's first sex store opened up across the street. "Olga, why don't you go out and buy some of that feminine deodorant spray I've read about?" said Ivan. She agreed. An hour later, she returned, all excited. "You should see all the flavors they have," she told her husband. "Strawberry, cherry, banana..." "What kind did you get?" he interrupted. "Tuna," she replied. |