| Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied to her head. The shocked priest says, "Madam, I cannot allow you to enter this holy place without your wearing a blouse." "But Father, I have a divine right," she informs. "Yes, I see. And your left one isn't bad either, but you still must wear a blouse to enter this church!" he insists. |
| "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the girl you were with?" "'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" "I cannot say." "Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?" "I'll never tell." "Was it Nina Capelli?" "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her." "Was it Cathy Piriano?" "My lips are sealed." "Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?" "Please, Father, I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration, "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself." Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?" "Four months vacation and five good leads." |
| Once, there was a man who was upset by his past deeds that he decided to visit a church and confess all of his sins. When he arrived at the church, he walked to the confession area and spoke to the pastor. "Father, I am sinful." "Yes son, just tell me what have you done, the Lord will forgive you." "Father, I have a steady relationship with my girlfriend. It`s been 3 years and nothing serious ever happened between us. Yesterday, I visited her house and nobody was at home except for her sister. We were alone and I slept with her." "That`s bad my boy. Fortunately you realize your mistake." "Father, last week I went to her office to look for her, but nobody was around except for one of her colleagues, so I slept with her too." "That`s not very good of you." "Father, last month, I went to her uncle`s house to look for her. Nobody was around except for her auntie, and I slept with her too." "Father? ......... Father?" suddenly this guy realized that there was no response from the Father. He walked over and discovered that the Pastor was not there. So he began searching for him. "Father? Where are you?" He searched high and low, and finally he found him hiding under the table behind the piano. "Father, why are you hiding here?" "Sorry son, suddenly I remembered there is nobody around here except me." |
| A priest and a rabbi took confession together. The priest treated three women who confessed to committing adultery on three occasions by demanding ten "Hail Marys" and ten dollars for the collection plate. When the priest had to go to bathroom, the rabbi took over. Another woman came in and confessed to committing adultery on two occasions. The rabbi invited her to take advantage of the special- three for ten dollars. |