| A petrol station owner in Ireland was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.' Banta pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Paddy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time." A week later, Banta, along with his friend Santa, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. Paddy guessed 2. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time." As they were driving away, Santa said to Banta, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex at all." Banta replied, "No it's genuine enough Mick. My wife won twice last week." |
| Banta was visiting the UK for the first time, and had boarded a train from Paddington and was on his way to Cardiff to visit his sister and her family. In the train, sitting across from him, this rather stoic and proper looking Englishman in a pin-striped suit was engrossed in reading the morning's paper. As the train rolled on, Banta was soon bored. Wanting to strike up a conversation he leaned over and asked the Englishman, "Excuse me Sir, what is your name?" Not very happy at this development, the Englishman nevertheless obliged and said, "John Smith. And what is your name Sir?" Banta replied, "Banta. And where are you from Mr. Smith?" "From Lancashire," And you Mr. Banta? Making every effort to keep up with Mr. Smith, Banta replied, "From Mohalishire!" This confused the hell out of Mr. Smith. He knew of Bedfordshire, Berkshire, Lincolnshire, Worcestershire; but Mohalishire??? Eyebrows raised, he asked Banta, "And on what "longitude and latitude" would Mohalishire be Sir?" Now it was Banta's turn to look all confused. But not willing to show his ignorance, and not knowing the meaning of these words, he replied in his new found accent, "Sir, You see, in Mohalishire we don't use Latitude and Longitude we have the more advanced geographical coordinates "Bhenkitude" & "Maakitude". Mr. Smith is still searching the dictionary for those words!!! |
| Santa while travelling in a plane was continuously looking at a woman's legs and saw that she wasn't wearing her panties and beneath her tall waxed legs was a clean shaved pussy that was just unbelievable. Woman: I know what you are looking at. Santa apologetically: I am sorry Ma'am, this would not happen again. Woman: that's perfectly OK. I know I'm not wearing my panties but one thing you don't know is that my pussy can do funny things. Santa: Like what? Woman: It can wink. Santa: Show me how? The woman lifted her skirt and made her clean shaved pussy wink at the Santa. Santa: Wow its amazing. Woman: It can blow a kiss as well and she made her nice pink lips blow a kiss at him. Santa got completely floored by this and was in awe of what he just saw. Woman who was completely hot and wet and wanted some action said to Santa: you can come next to my seat and put your fingers in my pussy. Santa: Teri behen di, don't tell me it can whistle too. |
| Banta runs into his office, wearing only a hat and carrying a briefcase. His boss stops him and says, "What are you doing, Banta? Do you realize you're naked? Shouldn't this be your day off?" Banta calmly explains that he was on a party when suddenly the lights went out. Some voice said, "Gentleman, take off your ties." Somebody turned on the lights again and not a single guy was wearing a tie. The situation repeated - the lights went out, but this time the voice said "Gentleman, strip naked." When the light went back on, the ladies started giggling and clapping their hands because all the guys were naked. The lights went out again and this time the voice said, "Ladies, take your clothes off!" When the light came back on, all the ladies were naked. The same voice said, "Gentleman, now get to work!" "So I grabbed my hat and briefcase and came here, sir." |