| A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches a `blonde lady` driver. "Mam, is there a reason that you`re weaving all over the road"? The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you`re here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!" Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma`am... that`s your air freshener." |
| There was this guy that lived acrossed from a blonde. He was outside mowing,and here comes the blonde. She goes to her mailbox, opens it, looks inside it, and slams it. In about ten minutes, here she comes again, opens her mailbox, looks in it and slams it shut looking upset. In about 15 more minutes here she comes again, opens her mailbox, looks in it, and slams it shut. The guy walks over and asked her what her problem was. She said "There is a sign on my computer that says I have mail." |
| A guy took a blonde out on a date. Eventually they ended up parked at a "lovers point" where they started making out. After things started getting pretty good, he thought he might get lucky, so he asked her, "Do you want to get into the back seat?" "NO!" she answered. Okay, he thought, may be she`s not ready yet. Now he has her shirt and skirt off, the windows are steamed, and things are getting really hot, so he asks again, "Do you want to get into the back seat?" "NO!" she answers again. Now he has her bra off, they`re both very sweaty, and she even has his pants unzipped. Okay, he thinks, she HAS to want it now. "Do you want to get into the back seat NOW?" he asks again. "NO!" she answers yet again. Frustrated, he demands, "Well, why not!" "Because I want to stay up here with you!" |
| A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She`d seen many books on the subject, and
finally, after getting all the necessary items together, she made for the
nearest frozen lake. After positioning her footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice and began to cut yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" The blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, sat up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?" The voice replied, "No, I`m the Ice-Rink Manager!" |