| A little boy walks in to the kitchen one Sunday morning while his dad is reading the paper. "Where does poo come from?" he asks. The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5-year-old son is already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says, "Well you know we just ate breakfast?" "Yes," answers the boy. "Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our butts when we go to the bathroom, and that is poo." The little boy looks perplexed, and stares at him in stunned silence for a few seconds and asks. "And Tigger?" |
| At a church meeting, a very wealthy man rose to tell the rest of those present about his Christian faith. "I'm a millionaire," he said, "and I attribute it all to the rich blessings of God in my life. "I remember that turning point in my faith. I had just earned my first dollar and I went to a church meeting that night. The speaker was a missionary who told about his work. I knew that I only had a dollar bill and I had to either give it all to God's work or give nothing at all. So at that moment, I decided to give my whole dollar to God. "I believe that God blessed that decision, and that is why I am a rich man today." When he finished and moved toward his seat, there was an awed silence. As he sat down, a little old lady sitting in the same pew leaned over and said to him, "I dare you to do it again." |
| A young lad and his mother were walking down the street one day when suddenly the boy yelled out excitedly, "Mother, Mother, Look at that bowlegged man!" His mother immediately hushed him explaining it was not polite to make fun of bowlegged people. The next day the same thing happened. "Look mother, there's that bowlegged man!" The mother grabbed the lad by the arm saying, "When we get home you'll be punished for this outburst." When they got home, she gave her son a work by Shakespeare, "Go to you room and read this book. You can't come out until you have finished it. Maybe you will learn something from this punishment." Two days later they are walking down the same street when the boy again spots the person he had been making fun of: "Hark! What manner of men are these, Who weareth their legs in parentheses?" |
| Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else in the class laughed. My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially Chicken, Lamb and Fish. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why. I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now.......... |