| Wife: Darling, I have a question. When Hindu God's Shiva and Parvati stand together, Shiva always has a "Thrishulam". When Vishnu and Lakshmi stand together, Vishnu has a "Sudarshana Chakra". When Ram and Seetha stand together, Ram has an Arrow and Bow. But, when Krishna and Radha stand together, Krishna has no weapon, but only a flute. WHY? Husband: Simple answer! The first three Gods stood with their wives. Krishna stood with his lover. Whoever stands with his wife NEEDS a WEAPON! |
| She married him because he was such a "strong man" She divorced him because he was such a "dominating male." He married her because she was so "fragile and petite." He divorced her because she was so "weak and helpless." She married him because "he knows how to provide a good living." She divorced him because "all he thinks about is business." He married her because "she reminds me of my mother." He divorced her because "she's getting more like her mother every day." She married him because he was "happy and romantic." She divorced him because he was "shiftless and fun-loving." He married her because she was "steady and sensible." He divorced her because she was "boring and dull." She married him because he was "the life of the party." She divorced him because "he never wants to come home from a party." |
| Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asks her husband, "Darling, honestly, if you didn't know me, what age would you say I am?" Looking over her carefully, Andy replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five." "Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed. Just as she was about to tell Andy his reward, he stops her by saying, "WHOA, hold on there sweety!" Andy interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet!" |
| An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, "Your loving husband." His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until one day, when he came home, kissed his wife and said offhandedly, "Nice flowers, honey. Where'd you get them?" |