| During a training session at an artillery unit the sergeant-major was busy describing how the sophisticated aiming device of the artillery weapon system is used: "As you all know, there are 180 degrees in a circle." One of the soldiers put up his hand and said: "But there are 360 degrees in a circle, sergeant-major." "You idiot," replied the sergeant-major, "I am obviously speaking about a small circle!" |
| A young Army private seeks permission from his commanding officer to leave camp the following weekend. "You see," he explains, "my wife's expecting." "I understand," the officer tells him. "You go, and tell your wife that I wish her luck." The following week the same soldier is back again with the same explanation: "My wife's expecting." The officer looks surprised, "Still expecting?" asks. `Well, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered. Of course you can have the weekend off." When the same soldier appears again the third week, however, the officer loses his temper. "Don't tell me your wife is still expecting," he says. "Yes, sir," says the soldier resolutely. "She's still expecting." "What in heaven is she expecting?" the officer. Says the soldier simply, "Me." |
| Bubba Joe's first military assignment was to a military induction center, and, because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about the government benefits, especially the GI insurance to which they were entitled. Before long the Captain in charge of the induction center began noticing that Bubba was getting a 99 percent sign-up for the top GI insurance. This was odd, because it would cost these poor inductees nearly $30.00 per month more for their higher coverage than what the government was already granting. The Captain decided that he would sit in the back of the room and observe Bubba's sales pitch. Bubba Joe stood up before his latest group of inductees and stated, "If you have the normal GI insurance and go to Iraq and are killed, the government pays your beneficiary $6,000." "If you take out the supplemental GI insurance, which will cost you an additional $30.00 per month, the government pays your beneficiary $200,000." "Now," Bubba concluded, "which bunch do you think they're gonna send into combat first?" |
| An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h in 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with Tempo Mach 2 appears. The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio, "Airbus flight, boring flight isn't it? Take care and have a look here!" He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, only to swoop down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks, "Well, how was that?" The Boeing pilot answers, "Very impressive, but now have a look here!" The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly stubbornly straight, with the same speed. After five minutes, the Airbus pilot radioed, "Well, what are you saying now?" The jet pilot asks confused, "What did you do?" The other laughs and says, "I got up, stretched my legs, went to the back of the flight to the bathroom, got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon cake and made an appointment with the stewardess for the next three nights - in a 5 Star hotel, which is paid for by my employer." The moral of the story is: When you are young, speed and adrenaline seems to be great. But as you get older and wiser, comfort and peace are not to be despised either. This is called S.O.S. - Slower, Older, Smarter. |