| Mulla Nasruddin's young wife, recently returned from her honeymoon, was complaining to her friend about her husband's drinking habits. "If you knew he drank, why did you marry him?" her friend asked. "I did not know he drank," said Nasruddin's wife, "until one night he came home SOBER." |
| The Sultan of a great city was annoyed by the cheats and liars who entered his gates and caused trouble. He therefore set soldiers at all entrances. The soldiers were under orders to hang those who lied about their purpose for wishing to enter. The Mulla Nasruddin saddled his donkey and rode to the city. At the gate a guard stopped him and asked his purpose in wishing to enter and warned him that a lie would result in his being hanged. "This is good for I have come to be hanged." said Nasruddin. "You are a liar and will certainly hang!" said the guard "Then you know I have spoken the truth and should not be hanged." said Nasruddin. |
| Nasruddin had a leaky ferry-boat, and used it to row people across the river. One day his passenger was a fussy schoolteacher, and on the way across he decided to give Nasruddin a test and see how much he knew. "Tell me, Nasruddin, what are eight sixes?" "I've no idea" "How do you spell magnificence?" "I don't" "Didn't you study anything at school?" "No." "In that case, half your life is lost." Just then a fierce storm blew up, and the boat began to sink. "Tell me, schoolteacher," said Nasruddin. "Did you ever learn to swim?" "No." "In that case, your whole life is lost." |
| Once Mulla Nasruddin was invited to deliver a sermon. When he got on the pulpit, he asked, "Do you know what I am going to say?" The audience replied, "No." So he announced, "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about!" and left. The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time, when he asked the same question, the people replied yes. So Nasruddin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time!" and left. Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mulla to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question, "Do you know what I am going to say?" Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "yes" while the other half replied "no". So Nasruddin said Let the half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the half who don't, and left. |