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Lie Detector!
An Englishman, an American and Santa are called upon to test a lie detector.
The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer".
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
"Ok", he says, "10 bottles".
And the machine is silent.
The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers".
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
"Allright, 8 hamburgers".
And the machine is silent.
The Santa says: "I think...",
BUZZZZZZ goes the machine. -
Rocket fuel !
Banta Singh and Santa Singh enrolled at the astronaut-training program at Houston, Texas. Before starting the program, the coordinator warned them that they would not be allowed a drop of alcoholic drink during the program and that they had to certify this in writing.
Both agreed to this condition and began their training. After 2 months, both of them began to desperately crave for alcohol. They hatched up several schemes like trying to bribe the guard, but he would have none of it.They tried to escape into the town adjacent to the training center, but were nabbed.
One night Banta said to Santa "Oye Santa, I’ve got an idea. Remember what they taught us this morning about rocket fuel? It contains a huge proportion of alcohol! Now, if we could just steal some of it and mix it with soda, it will taste like a whiskey soda!".
Santa agreed and the next day they stole 2 liters of the fuel and mixed it with soda, cooked some tandoori chicken, drank their fuel-soda and had a great time. At the end of the evening Banta left for his room and said that he’d ring Santa in the morning so they could have tea together.
The next morning, Banta rang up Santa and asked "Oye Santa tu hale toitet to nahin gaya?" (hope you have not been to the loo yet) Santa: "nahin" (no) Banta "Je jaega tau Amritsar de val mooh rakhna, mai Tokyo to boal reha hoon" (when you go try and face Amritsar [the hometown] I am in Tokyo) -
Confusion of ownership !
Santa and Banta bought two horses.
Now the problem was that they could not differentiate between the two horses.
So,one day Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse.When he does so,an enemy of Santa sees him doing so.
This enemy cuts the left ear of Banta s horse. Santa and banta are confused.
So, next thing Santa cuts some body part of his horse and his enemy repeats the same on Bantas horse.
At last Santa s horse had no legs left and Banta s horse was with one leg only.
The enemy also went and cut Banta s horse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution , How to differentiate between their horses.So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to their mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and I shall keep the white . -
Your number please?
Santa made a phone call and he said: Is it 3716120?
The reply came: No, it is 3716121
Santa: No problem, Please call Banta from next door.