| People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. |
| Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television. |
| I've got no bosoms. In Africa they went to name an underdeveloped nation after me. |
| In California, handicapped parking is for women who are frigid. |
| I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, "the man goes on top and the woman underneath." For three years, my husband and I slept in bunk beds. |
| Oh, grow up! |