| Doctor to patient, "Your case will enrich medical sciences". Patient: Oh dear! And I thought I'll just have to pay Rs. 10000! |
| Patient to Psychiatrist, "What is the difference between dream and reality?" Patient: The same between a girlfriend and a wife! |
| Prisoner: Doc! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place! Doctor: I sure will. But only bit by bit! |
| Nurse: Doctor, the man you've just treated collapsed on the front step what should I do? Doctor: Turn him around so it looks like he was arriving! |
| A lady waited patiently at the pharmacist till he was free to serve her. At last he asked, "May I help you, madam?" "Could you please read this letter from my fiance for me? He is a doctor!" |
| Two old men were sitting in bar. One said to other, "My wife's a mess. She has gonorrhoea, diarrhoea and ascariasis." "Why do you stay with her?" said the other. "Because I love to fish and she has great worms." |
| A surgeon went to visit his twin brother, a vicar, at a parish. During his morning walk a parishioner, mistaking him for the vicar, congratulated him on his sermon. "Sorry," replied the surgeon. "I am not the twin who preaches, I am the one who practices." |
| The four stages of getting sick: ill, pill, bill and will. |