Patient: I have spent 80 per cent of my life savings on doctors. Doctor: Why didn't you come to me earlier? |
A man to doctor, "Is there any medicine for long life?" Doctor: Get married. Man: Will it help ? Doctor: No, but it will avoid such thoughts. |
My dentist makes the best false teeth. They're so lifelike, they even ache! |
Patient: Doctor, what's good for excessive wind? Doctor: A kite. |
Doctors after operation and students after exam both tell the same answer; . . . We tried our best; Can't say anything right now! |
The doctor put a stethoscope to the patient's chest. The patient said, "Doctor how do I stand?" The doctor replied, "That's what puzzles me"! |
The doctor said to patient, "I want you take your clothes off and stick your tongue out of the window." "What will that do?" "Not much. But I hate my neighbour!" |
Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal! |
Patient: I feel so sick I wish I could die. Doctor: Don't worry. I'll take care of that! |
Patient: How much longer do I have? Doctor: Ten... Patient: Ten What? Doctor: Nine |