| Two windmills are in a field. One asks, "What kind of music do you like?" The other one says, "Well, I'm a big metal fan!" |
| Hot girl pays me a compliment: Heart: I'm falling in love. Brain: I'm gonna say something whacky and ruin it all. Stomach: Wanna hear a strange sound? Liver: Oh boy here we go again! |
| For our chemistry exam, we had to write a thousand words on acid. Unfortunately, my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted! |
| They are accepting nominations for the Procrastination challenge. I think I will enroll tomorrow! |
| I thought I was late for my flight so Iran. The guy at the boarding gate said Aap Qatar Mein Hain Aap Kuwait Karna Padega. I asked are you sure? He said Yemen. I was like Oman! |
| Only a real genius could say these four words fast without getting tongue tied: Eye, Yam, Stew, Peed! |
| A girl agreed to go out with me because I gave her a bottle of Lemonade! You could say, I Schwepped her off her feet! |
| I used to be in a band called The Hinges. We supported The Doors! |
| This morning I used Red Bull instead of water to make my coffee. After 15 minutes of drive on the motorway, I realised I left my car at home! |
| Waking up before the alarm has its own advantages. You can use that time to check your bank balance and get out of bed automatically! |
