| I am skilled at the art of love. I just wish I had a bigger paintbrush. -Scott E. Roeben |
| I guess you could call me a polygamist. Sometimes I switch hands. -Scott E. Roeben |
| A man must be potent and orgasmic to ensure the future of the race. A woman only needs to be available. -Masters and Johnson |
| An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card. -Alex comfort |
| A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you. -Francoise Sagan |
| I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. -Emo Philips |
| Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie. -William Shakespeare |
| I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds. -Joan Rivers |
| My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. -Emo Philips |
| To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it. -Cary Grant |