Sanjay Leela Bhansali speaks to Subhash K Jha on why the IIFA awards had to be given the skip.

Q: Why were you missing from IIFA?
A: It just couldn't be helped! I was very keen to go. After all Black was nominated in so many categories again, and this time on an international forum. I always enjoy IIFA. And I had even taken a few days off from the shooting of Saawariya, got my clothes and tickets in place.

Unfortunately sudden work related to my new film came up. I had to make a choice. My heart was in both places. To me what I'm creating now requires my presence much more than what I've already nurtured. Black is no longer mine. It's gone out to people and touched their lives.

But I'm thrilled to win so many awards, and more thrilled by the Black act at IIFA that Amitji and Rani participated in for Shiamak Davar. Me being there wouldn't have added to the film's glory. But I'd like thank IIFA for honouring the film although I wasn't there.

Q: To be honoured with an entire act at an awards function is quite an honour.
A: Yes, generally stars dance to the songs of a film. But I firmly believe Black has a lot of music in its soul. It has very powerful images and background score. And sign language is a form of dance in itself. It's interesting to see actors perform an act for Black. Maybe it will start at new trend in the awards functions.

Q: Your bulk of awards for your four films is an all-time record for any filmmaker in any part of the world.
A: I just feel so deeply honoured that all my four films have won awards in all the main categories. I can't say I've had enough of awards. I want my next Saawariya to win as many awards as Devdas and Black, if not more. I enjoy awards. It's a pat on the back for your efforts.

A small society in a nondescript town or the IIFA, I love getting awards anywhere anytime. But I don't make films for awards or for the boxoffice. You can't make a film with an imaginary applause track playing in your mind.

Q: Haven't you become habituated to awards?
A: I'd be very upset if one of my films didn't win awards. Me and my team work very very hard on every film. Every film entails a lot of sacrifices. I live and breathe every film. At the same time it's important for the right film to get the awards, and they needn't be mine.

But if I do get them I feel I'm somewhat compensated for all the trials that I'm made to go through every time I make a film. Each time I'm made to go through tremendous stress. The process has already started with Saawariya.

Q: Do you think the stress makes you a better creator?
A: Are you serious?! Of course not! Any disturbance or distraction is death for me. For some strange reason people seem to derive some pleasure in putting me through these tribulations. None of the stress must show up in the film.

Yes, there's a lot of pain in my film. But why must I go through this unnecessary suffering while making my films? People seem to put tremendous faith in me. I can't afford to let them down. Unfortunately there's always some kind of unwanted pressure on my creativity.

Q: You're a week into shooting your new film....
A: Yes, and Saawariya is a bigger challenge than any of my four films so far. This is the first time I'm working with newcomers. I've always worked with established stars. Saawariya is also another musical after Devdas, and that too for Sony international. It's an opportunity that has to be used fully.

Q: Are you enjoying the music after the silences of Black?
A: Completely. Though within the silences of Black I felt there was a lot of music. Just because I've made a successful film without songs doesn't mean I've lost my passion for them. Songs and music are an integral part of our cinema. Right now I'm living every moment of Saawariya. It's a very innocent film. I'm re-living that state of innocence which we all lose in our climb towards maturity and competitiveness.

Q: Is Saawariya an entirely new experience from your earlier works?
A: Oh completely! Whatever was true for Black or Devdas is no longer true for Saawariya. I'm as nervous as first timer. The mood and treatment are completely new to me. The film has me on the edge. That's the only place where I am at my best. Will Saawariya work?

People told me Black wouldn't work. I like these uncertainties. There's no fun in doing something where success is certain. I believe in pushing for impossible goals. I've a long way to go. And people who want to spoil my reputation will never succeed. Because there's a hand from above protecting me.

Q: Are you having fun on Saawariya?
A: I'm smiling a lot shooting it. If you don't enjoy making a film, it can never turn out right. So far I've enjoyed every film I've made. Filmmaking is religion to me. I don't have to look up to heaven to see God. My God lives on the catwalk.