What did the astronomer say after 69ing his wife?
Excellent view of Uranus tonight.
Porn stars are probably the only actors unequivocally against nepotism within the film making industry.
I met a lewd nude in Bermuda
Who thought she was shrewd: I was shrewder;
She thought it quite crude
To be wooed in the nude;
I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her.
My wife walks out of the shower, winks at me and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"
I said, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."
You see a latex medical examination hand glove, I see a 5 pack of condoms and one is my size.
When watching porn, you have seen more verifiably real male orgasms than female orgasms on screen.
So my wife was complaining that the vacuum didn't suck anymore.
I looked at her and said, "Frustrating, isn't it."
After sex last night my girlfriend said, "You're easily the biggest I've ever had."
Apparently "Ditto" wasn't the correct response!
I used to go out with a girl who punched me in the face when she orgasmed.
I didn't mind too much until I found out she was faking them.
My wife gave me a handjob the other day using vaseline I came three times trying to wash that shit off
