My wife gave me a handjob the other day using vaseline I came three times trying to wash that shit off
I bought my new wife a full set of cookery subscriptions for her birthday to help her learn to cook properly.
A month later she bought me a porn movie for my birthday.
The other day my wife asked me how I became so damn good at making love.
I told her she should thank all the women that came before her!
As a married man, when I say I lasted all night, what I'm trying to say is that I slept continuously without having to wake up in the middle of the night to pee!
Some bloody thought:
Bill (Clinton) had to go to Monica for a blowjob because Uski Biwi Sirf...
Hila-ry Thi
A family is driving home and passes a sporting goods store that's being renovated.
The wife says, "Look, they're expanding Dick's."
The husband says, "Sign me up!"
Clear Understanding:
Husband: I love you.
Wife: Aaj Nahi.
Husband: OK!
Since I have heard so many stories about wives having headaches,
I assume a married man's idea of foreplay would be half an hour of applying balm on his wife's forehead!
I told my wife that wearing a mask is really uncomfortable.
She laughed and told me to try wearing a bra for a day!
He proposed marriage because she promised she will make him try different positions.
Now he is a husband, driver and cook!
