by Subhash K Jha

Starring Zayed Khan, Isha Shravani, Minissha Lamba
Directed Suressh Krishna
Rating: *

Aeons ago Suressh Krishna directed the mighty Kamal Haasan in a psycho-traumatic double role in Abhay.

The interesting but unsettled thriller about twins on the rampage didn't work. Krishna returns to Hindi cinema with what looks like Abhay going the Sylvester Stallone way.

Remember the boxer Rocky and how his junoon in the boxing ring was restrained after a traumatic incident?

Cleverly(?) the writers of this routine actioner wrench our new-age Cocky Rocky out of the boxing ring. And put him in the far more sinister ring-with-a-sting known as the concrete jungle.

Cocky Rocky—God bless his bleeding heart—can't bear to see goons pulling at ladies' unmentionables or invading a suspiciously studio-staged cyber café to disrupt what looks like a bunch of guys peering at porn sites(we can't be sure because they all sport stock- expressions of forced concentration).

Cyber Café's villainous visitors are goons sent by a super-goon named Anthony(Rajit Bedi, trying hard to look like a mean cocaine sniffer). Recently I've noticed filmy villains have Christian names. Maybe filmmakers are scared of going into the other minority community for goon- sukoon.

Call them by any name, these graduates from goon school look like left-overs from Ram Gopal Varma's Shiva. They run helter-skelter on the roads and recreational spots of the metro, trying to scare the daylights out of law-abiding citizens. The god-fearing types include Cocky Rocky's scared father(Sarath Babu from the South sporting an accent so thick, you could mistake him for an owner of an Udipi restaurant instead of the banker that he plays) and a surprisingly happy and over-the-top Mom played by Smita Jaykar.

Papa tells sonny-boy(a.k.a Cocky Rocky) "No fighting!" after the boy's gilrfriend no.1(Isha Shravani) is done to death by Anthony.

But have no fear, there's girlfriend no. 2 Minissha Lamba in London who chases Cocky Rocky and chases down Black petty criminals with equal out-of-breath sincerity.

Cocky Rocky's stocky daddy realizes there's a Goon School in London too.

"Let's go back, Beta, to beat the hell out of Anthony in Mumbai," Daddy commands.

Make up your mind, Dad! Not that anyone seems to have much brains in this mindless homage to metrocentric mayhem.

Rocky looks thoroughly confused all the time ... Zayed Khan who plays the title role gives deadpan acting a new definition and vigour.

You really can't get any more deadpan than Zayed Khan. And you really can't make a more straightforward clichéd actioner than this one.

The actors fake the fear and the retribution. Not that you care much about either. But at least when the going gets tough you expect the tough to get going.

There's just no escape from this one. Rocky just assails your senses with a bit of sub-standard cinema.

Unless you are a diehard Zayed Khan fan who likes to see him grin and grimace with equal placidity, don't bother.