Rahul Roy is bewildered, frazzled but triumphant just minutes after he's declared the winner of the reality game-show Bigg Boss.
He recounts the experience, "I had to lean back on every holy scripture, every word of wisdom about the quality of life that I had ever read, to survive in there. But to tell you the truth, I've come back doubly strong from the ordeal.
I just behaved in character. Bigg Boss is an amazing experience. To have won is an incredible feeling. In the last three hours before I won I kept praying continuously to my Hanumanji."
Has the experience changed Rahul's life? "I've only become stronger in my beliefs. I always had unstinted faith in my God. I'm a staunch follower of Hanumanji, Shivji and Ganesh. At the age of 40, I need to feel more responsible towards myself and those who matter to me.
I think that side of me came out on Bigg Boss. I'm incredibly grateful to God for keeping me sane through all the strange and trying situations in the House. It was very tough to do so."
While the other contestants often lost their temper Rahul became a household name for his equanimity. "I may not be a big star. But I went in there with a certain dignity. And I needed to maintain that dignity. I lost both my parents. But to me their name remains sacrosanct. I didn't want to shame them or my other loved ones in any way."
Ask him if he felt any ill-will for any of the contestants, and Rahul protests. "I honestly felt only good vibes for them. I'm very happy for the other two finalists Ravi Kissan and Carol Gracias. I'd have been happy to see either of them won. But to me finishing anything that I start is very important. Being in the Final 3 was in itself a victory for me. But winning was important, yes."
Did conditions in the house get tougher as more and more inmates got evicted? "Not for me. I'm basically a loner. I'm not too much a people's person. But to my surprise I could handle the people in the house. I'm proud to say I won everyone's respect in there.
My spiritual nature forbade me from feeling any ill-will against anyone in there. Everyone looked up to me in there. And I didn't want to let any of them down. I wasn't connected with the outside. But I knew if I earned the respect of the inmates at Bigg Boss I was doing the right thing."
Rahul admits he has been doing the wrong kind of film in recent times. "But now after Bigg Boss I intend to be more responsible towards myself. The experience has renewed my faith in myself. No more inane films.
To begin with I'm going to visit my wife (model Mahalaxmi) in Sydney. Only then will I think of how to carry my life forward...But I've to be sure of every step I take Do you know, my wife was sceptical about me being on the show? She had seen Big Brother.
When I called her about the offer she asked me whether I was sure I wanted to be on such an incredibly tough show. I told her to relax, I'll be out in 3-4 weeks. I never knew I'd survive all the way to the end!"