"Being an Indian Muslim I feel very responsible playing the role of a modern Muslim whose wife is accused of being a terrorist," Muzamil Ibrahim comes clean about his role in Pooja Bhatt's Dhokha.

"The average educated Muslim isn't what he's made out to be. We're brought up to be as patriotic as any person from the mainstream. None of us is brought up to support fundmentalists. There's no difference between a patriotic Hindu and a Muslim."

Trauma and Muzamil have become best friends. "And not just while shooting for Dhokha. I've known death bereavement and violence from very close quarters. While I was in Jammu many of friends have gone missing," says Muzamil Ibrahim whose author-backed role in Dhokha is being talked about.

Even as a model in Mumbai Muzamil was being offered various roles. "But I didn't think they were worth considering They were all eye-candy roles of the kind models are expected to perform. But I knew myself well to know where I fitted in. I had been there, done it all.

But I come from a cultured background. I've studied Urdu for twelve years. I was also very passionate about Hindi cinema," says Muzamil who's a Punjabi brought up in Jammu.

Pooja Bhatt spotted the model-turned-music video star at a party. "Dhokha is a dream role. Mr Mahesh Bhatt has written a role that is so politically rich. He told me how tough the role was. I had to dig into my past to play the part. We read about terrorism and trauma....and move on.

Dhokha allowed me to live through experiences that I've seen first-hand. After this, I don't know how to do a conventional role. There's no dearth of money or offers. But after Dhokha I've a responsibility to myself and to those who'll see me play this conscientious young Indian Muslim."

What went wrong between Muzamil and Pooja?

The young actor falls quiet. Then.... "Dhokha was my first film, and I expected my director to be more patient tolerant and sensitive to my anxieties as a newcomer. I think the director needs to be a far better humanbeing, specially when there's the example of Mahesh Bhatt Saab's to follow. You've to see how lovingly he treats his newcomers."

Sighs Muzamil, "We finished the film in 38 days. If I was so bad how could we finish the film so quicky? It was a challenging role and I wouldn't have done it if I didn't feel up to it. Mr Bhatt has compared my role to Anupam Kher in Saraansh and Sanjay Dutt in Naam.

Thank God Bhatt Saab was there for me. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to get the nuances right. When he was around I felt free to interpret my character how I wanted. It was only when he wasn't on the sets that the problems occurred."

Would he do another film with Pooja? "I don't think she'd work with me again."

To Muzamil's dismay he's no part of any of the tv events for Dhokha, nor has he dubbed for his character.

He shrugs. "It's their call, and I respect that. Very honestly I expected they'd let me dub my lines. Initially Pooja Bhatt had said I've a good voice and a great command over the language. I had an important role and I gave my blood and soul.

I can't begin to describe what physical pain I've gone through for this role. I used my voice to convey the pain. I feel I should've dubbed for myself. I was told they were running out of time. ....I heard the other guy when I finally saw the film. It'd be better if I don't comment on it."

Sighs Muzamil, "I'm emotionally very vulnerable. I lived my character, and I don't think I've left him behind. I never will. I had to feel his trauma. And what was happening to me on the sets certainly helped me to feel traumtized. To play this kind of character wasn't easy.

I'd cry non-stop for 7-8 hours a day. During the course of the film I lost 7-8 kgs. I don't know how I survived. I guess I'm very strong.And my family and friends told me not to give up no matter what happens."