Rating: *

Almost a decade-and-a-half-ago, Yash Chopra's DARR catapulted Shah Rukh Khan to super-stardom. Over the years, various versions of DARR have been churned out by dream merchants in Bollywood. Kaashh... Mere Hote! is yet another twisted version of DARR. The difference is, in DARR, it was a man playing an obsessed lover. In Kaashh... Mere Hote!, it's a woman.

Sadly, Kaashh... Mere Hote! relies on the age-old tricks that made masala films so popular with viewers in 1970s and 1980s. The movie throws logic out of the window (the obsessed girl is blessed with super-natural powers), unwanted songs keep popping up every 10 minutes (at times, every 5 minutes), there's a comedy track running parallel, with no connection whatsoever with the main plot.

Simply put, Kaashh... Mere Hote! is archaic, outdated!

Krish (Kumar Saahil) is a fashion photographer, in love with Radhika (Sneha Ullal). Krish gets an assignment to shoot in Mauritius, where Piya (Sana Khan) first sees him and falls in love.

Later, Krish gets a retired army officer's (Rajesh Khanna) bungalow on rent. For Piya, the army officer's daughter, it's the perfect opportunity to seduce him. Piya will kill everyone and anyone who comes in her way.

A couple of things catch you by complete surprise. B.H. Tharun Kumar, ace choreographer turned director, is a veteran, having worked with some of the finest names and also on their films. With years of experience behind him, how could he okay such a flimsy script in the first place? It's not sacrilege to be inspired by a good film (DARR), but at least update it to suit the current times. Why rely on ghisa-pita situations?

Besides, the film is meant to be the launch pad of the boy (Kumar Sahil), but as it turns out, the girl (Sana) gets the meatiest part in this enterprise. Strange, isn't it?

If the screenplay is listless, the direction is no better. Sanjeev-Darshan's music is the sole saving grace. A couple of songs are well-tuned, but the placement of songs is questionable.

Kumar Sahil needs a lot more grooming. He's extremely raw. Sneha Ullal is a pretty face with a blank expression. Sana leaves a mark. Rajesh Khanna hams. It's sad to see the ex-superstar enacting such inconsequential roles. Johny Lever raises a few laughs, but the jokes on Bachchans are in poor taste.

On the whole, Kaashh... Mere Hote! is a poor show all the way.