Autocorrect still thinks I want to say 'duck' 12 times a day!
Every dog has his day but the nights belong to pusses.
Virginity: A big issue over a small tissue!
Sometimes opportunity knocks at the door, other times knock on the door spoils an opportunity!
The only way to have safe sex is to abstain... from drinking.
If you force sex on a prostitute, is it rape or shoplifting?
The difference between Niagara and Viagra is that Niagara Falls!
I almost had a threesome last night, all I needed was two more people.
I use to be fucking stupid, but then we broke up...
I suffer from a sexually transmitted disease... children.