| A young woman brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out more about the young man. The father invites the fiance to his study to find out more about him. "So what are your plans?" the father asks. "I am a bible scholar," the young man replies. "A bible scholar, huh," the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice home for my daughter to live in, as she is used to having?" The young man replies, "I will study & God will provide for us." "And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, which she deserves?" asks the father. "I will concentrate on my studies & God will provide for us," replies the young man. The conversation proceeds in this manner, which each question the father asks, the young man replies that God will provide. Later, the mother asks, "How did the conversation go?" The father answers: "He has no job & no plans, but the good news is that he thinks I am God." Happy Father's Day |
| A retired old couple returned to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman promised to hold a car for them. But they found the car was just sold to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter top. The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply, "Young man, you said you hold that car till we raised the $95,000 asking price, yet you closed the deal for $75,000 to the young lady there. And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no discount for this model !" The salesman took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a large glass of water. "Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn't need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?", replied the grinning salesman sheepishly. Just then the young woman walked over to the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man. "There you go," she said. "I told you I could get him to lower the price. See you later Dad, Happy Father's day." |
| A young Indian left his job in India and joined a salesman's job in a big departmental store in Canada!! On the first day, the Indian worked with full vigour. At 6 pm Boss: How much of sales did you do on the first day? Indian: Sir, I attended to 1 Sales call. Boss: Only 1 sale the whole day? Usually every salesman here does 20 to 30 Sale transactions a day. Well, tell me what is the value of your today's one sale? Indian: $93300....! Boss: What?? Unbelievable! But how did you do that? Indian: Sir, 1 customer came in and I sold him a small fishing hook. Then a mazola and then finally sold a big hook. Then I sold him 1 big fishing rod and some fishing gear... Then I asked him where does he go to catch fish and he said to the coastal area. Then I said to him that he would need a boat. So I took him down to the boat department and sold him a 20 ft double engine schooner boat. When he said the boat won't come in his Volkswagen, I took him to the auto mobile section and sold him the new Deluxe 4 x 4 blazer to carry the boat. And when I asked him where he would be going fishing ??? He didn't plan anything. So I took him to the camping section and sold him a six sleeper camper tent. And then he took groceries worth $ 200 and 2 cases of beer....! Now the boss took 2 steps back and asked: You sold all this to a person who came just to buy only 1 fish hook??? Indian: No Sir... He actually came in to buy 1 Tablet for his headache.... I explained to him that 'Fishing' is the Best Way to Get Rid of Headaches!!! Boss: Where did you work before ??? Indian: I was a PRO in a private hospital in India. For any patient who would come in for any 'Minor Complaint', we get the Patient Tested for Pathology, ECO, ECG, TMT, CT SCAN, X-Ray, MRI etc. Boss: Will You please sit in my chair? I shall go to India and join a Private Hospital for Training. |
| Ek Baar Ek Retired Uncle Kiraane Ki Dukaan Par Gaye Aur Dukaan Mein Baithe Ladke Se Bole, "Beta, Mujhe Masoor Ki Daal Ke 824 Daane De Do." Ladke Ne Bina Kuch Kahe 250 gms Masoor Ki Daal Tol Ke Uncle Ko De Di Aur Kaha, "30 Rupay Hue Aapke." Uncle Bole, "Beta Ismein Poore 824 Daane Hi Honge?" Ladka Bola, "Ji Haan Uncle Ji, App Ghar Jaa Kar Gin Lijiyega, Poore 824 Daane Hi Niklenge. Kyunki Pitaji Ne Kaha Hai Ki Ek Kilo Daal Mein 3296 Daane Aate Hain Aur Is Hisaab Se 250gms mein 824 Daane He Aayenge." Uncle, Thoda Hairaan Ho Kar, Bole, "Tumhaare Pita Ji Kya Karte Hain Beta?" Ladka Bola, Kuch Nahin Uncle Ji, Vo Bhi Aap Ki Tarah Retire Ho Chuke Hain Aur Saara Din Ghar Pe Khaali Baith Ke Hum Sab Gharwalon Ke Dimaag Ka Dahi Karte Rehte Hain." |