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    A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

    Suddenly her husband burst into the Kitchen, "Careful... Careful! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY!

    "Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?

    "They're going to STICK! Careful... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

    The wife stared at him, "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

    The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving"
  • The Silent Fart An old couple were sitting in Church and the wife noticed that people were staring at her.
    She leaned across to her husband and whispered, "I've just let go...
  • Work Telephone The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting.
    Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone...
  • Wars make History The social studies teacher had just finished a unit on war and peace.
    "How many of you," he asked, "would say you're opposed to war...
  • Gotcha!!! Farmer Banta killed a lamb and hung it up for the night, intending to butcher it in the morning, but the next day it was gone. He didn’t tell a soul about it, and nothing happened ...
  • X-Ray Results While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students.
    "As you can see," she says, "the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia...
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