| How do you know if you're in love, in lust, or really married? For those of you who have any questions, or misplaced envy, this should clear it up: LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room. LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room. MARRIAGE - When you lose your child in crowded room. LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love." LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing." MARRIAGE - What the hell are you talking about? LOVE - When you share everything you own. LUST - When you steal everything they own. MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything. LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax. LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax. MARRIAGE - What's a climax? LOVE - When you write poems about your partner. LUST - When all you write is your phone number. MARRIAGE - When all you write is cheques. LOVE - When you show concern for your partner's feelings. LUST - When you couldn't give a &*%$ MARRIAGE -When your only concern is what's on TV. LOVE - When your farewell is "I love you, darling..." LUST - When your farewell is "So, same time next week..." MARRIAGE - When your farewell is a relief. LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner. LUST - When you only see each other naked. MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake. LOVE - When your heart flutters every time you see them. LUST - When your groin twitches every time you see them. MARRIAGE - When your wallet empties every time you see them. LOVE - When nobody else matters. LUST - When nobody else knows. MARRIAGE - When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows. LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel. LUST - When the song on the radio determines how you do it. MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio. LOVE - When breaking up is something you try not to think about. LUST - When staying together is something you try not to think about. MARRIAGE - When just getting through today is your only thought. LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with your partner. LUST - When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner. MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf score. |