Meet The Sexpert

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    Some Funnies In A Column On Meet The Sexpert In Newspaper.

    Q: Is It Safe If Penis Is Kept In The Vagina When Sleeping?
    A: Usually When The Penis Returns To Flaccid State, It Will Slide Out Of The Vagina. Even If Does Not, Be Rest Assured The Vagina Will Not Have It For Breakfast.

    Q. I Am A 36-Year-Old Man. Six Months Ago I Had Sex With A Housewife. Then, I Made As Many As 220 Strokes In The 40 Minus Of Our Intercourse. Today, I Could Only Reach 180 In The Same Time. Please Reply. I Am Worried.
    A: Do Take Part In The Commonwealth Games Since You Seem Like An Athlete. My Advice Is To Enjoy The Act And Stop Counting. Do Give A Thought To Whether You Are Satisfying Your Partner Or Not!

    Q: I Am A 25-Year-Old Man. My Penis Is Short And Small In Diameter. When Aroused, Its Size Increases To Resemble A ¾ Inch Pvc Pipe. I Have Heard That There Are Capsules Available That Help Increase The Size. Please Advise.
    A: As Plenty Of Water Can Pass Through A Pvc Pipe, Similarly More Than Enough Semen Can Pass Out Of Your Penis.

    Q: I Have Heard That Any Kind Of Acidic Substance Can Prevent Pregnancy. Can I Pour Some Drops Of Lemon Or Orange Juice In My Girlfriend’s Vagina After The Intercourse? Will It Harm Her?
    A: Are You A Bhel Puri Vendor? Where Did You Get This Weird Idea From? There Are Many Other Safe And Easy Methods Of Birth Control. You Can Consider Using A Condom.

    And Here's The Best One:
    Q: I'm A 19yr Old Girl & I'm Pregnant How Do I Tell My Parents?
    A: If You Can Open Your Legs Then Why Not Your Mouth.
  • Nehle Pe Dehla Apne Baap Ke Marne Ke Baad Uska Beta Uski Jagha Gaanv Ka Chaudhary Bana. Ek Bar Vo Gaanv Mein Ghumne Nikla Toh Usko Ek Aadmi Dikha Jiski Shakal Us Se Milti Thi. Uska Majaak Udaane Ke Liye Chaudhary Bola...
  • Little Johnny in Love The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her young students so she took him aside after class one day.
    "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
    "I`m in love...
  • Always Wear Something The young bride`s mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter...
  • Used Pussy! A woman finally got divorced from a rather nasty and egotistical man. She then re-married someone whom she felt would treat her with more love and kindness. When her ex-husband happened to meet her on the street...
  • Aroused Penis A medical professor was lecturing about self-examination of the breast and testicles. A female student asked another male student, "Do you ever get an erection when you do a self-examination of your testicles...
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