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After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Señor, I would like the world`s best beer, a Corona."
The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, "I`d like the best beer in the world, give me `The King Of Beers`, a Budweiser."
The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, "I`d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors."
He gets it. The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke."
The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren`t you drinking a Guinness?"
The Guinness president replies, "Well, if you guys aren`t drinking beer, neither will I."
- Ape removal A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla up in the tree in his front yard. Not knowing quite what to do, he looks in the yellow pages under 'Gorilla Removal Service' and sure enough finds a listing-Harry`s Ape Removal.
So he calls up Harry and about an hour later Harry shows up with all the tools of his trade, a pick-up truck, a pair of handcuffs, a... - The Plane ride! There were three guys on a plane. The first guy just ate an apple and decided to throw it out of the plane. So he threw it out just before they landed. When they landed they saw a little girl crying.
They asked her what was wrong.
She said, 'I was just sitting here playing when... -
Luxury Cruise One day Banta walks into a dingy little storefront travel agency, holds up a page out of a newspaper, and says: 'You say in this ad that you have a wonderful luxury cruise for only Rs 5000. I want to go on this wonderful luxury cruise.'
The guy behind the counter says 'Sure. Do you have... - Confession ? Tommy enters the confessional box and says. . .
'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.'
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Tommy ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the woman you were with?'
'Sure and I can`t be tellin` you, Father. I don`t want to... - Deer hunt ! Santa and Banta go for hunting. Santa has never gone hunting while Banta has huntedall his life. When they get to the woods, Banta tells Santa to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Banta checks out a deer stand.
After Banta gets about a quarter of a mile away, he hears a...