-
A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him.
"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I`ve known you for over fifteen years, and I`ve never seen you take a drink before. What`s going on?"
Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend."
He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp.
"But," says the other man, "I`m your best friend!"
The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs, "Not anymore! He is!"
- Hide and seek A very large, old building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other buildings it could not be imploded and had to be dismantled floor by floor.
While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found a skeleton in a small closet behind the elevator shaft. They decided that... - Physical weakness! The little sexy housewife was built so well that the TV repairman couldn`t keep his eyes off of her. Every time she came in the room, he`d near about jerk his neck right out of joint looking at her.
When he`d finished she paid him and said, 'I`m going to make a . . .well . . . unusual request. But you have to... - Santa in America Santa and his son were visiting America for the very first time.
Santa was at a Local Food store going up & down the aisles with his son.
Santa asked, 'What is this??
Santa`s son, 'Powdered orange juice'
Santa, 'Powdered orange juice??'Son: 'Yeah, Dad. You just... - One kiss per... Walking up to a department store`s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, 'I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?'
'Only one kiss per meter madam,' replied Banta (clerk).
'That`s fine,' replied the girl. 'I`ll take... - Unusual pet This guy was lonely, and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, whichcame in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and...`