-
A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following weekend. "You see," he explained, "my wife`s expecting."
"Oh..." said the Officer, "I understand. Go ahead and tell your wife that I wish her luck."
The following week the same soldier was back again with the same explanation: "My wife`s expecting."
The Officer looked surprised. "Still expecting?" he said, "Well, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered. Of course you can have the week-end off."
When the same soldier appeared again the third week, however, the Officer lost his temper. "Don`t tell me your wife is still expecting!" he bellowed.
"Yes sir!" said the soldier resolutely, "She`s still expecting."
"What in heaven is she expecting?" cried the Officer.
"Me." said the soldier simply.
- Expensive doctor! Santa goes to consult a famous specialist about his medical problem.
'How much do I owe you?'
'My fee is Rs 500,' replies the physician.
'Five hundred? That`s impossible.'
'In your case,' the doctor replies, 'I suppose I could adjust my fee to Rs 300.'
'Three hundred for one visit... - Joggers Banta had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city`s major jogging routes.
No sooner had he settled back to snooze when... - Misinterpretation A woman sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her, and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these short term relationships.
'Isn`t there some way to judge the size of a man`s equipment from the outside?' she asked earnestly.
'The only foolproof way, is by... - Best friend A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him.
'Lou,' says the shocked friend, 'what are you doing? I`ve known you for over fifteen years, and I`ve never seen you take a drink before. What`s... -
Santa on duty A new soldier, Banta, was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield.
A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back.
Banta said, 'Halt, who goes there?'
The sergeant, who was driving, motioned to the back seat and...