Clean Jokes



Weight Problem

A young woman was having a physical examination and was embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed...

Life Goes On

When Joe's wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend, he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist...

Don't Be Nervous

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia...

Lifetime Medication

John came home from the doctor looking very worried. His wife said, "What's the problem?"
He said, "The doctor told me I have to take a pill every day...

Constipated Worker

A construction worker tells his doctor, "I’m constipated."
The doctor examines him for a few minutes and says, "Lean over the table...

Full Bed Bath

The nursing student, on her first rotation in the ICU, had to give a patient a full bed bath. She had never given one before and was terribly nervous about it. To make matters worse, the patient was...

Be Careful

Harris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman...

X-Ray Results

While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students.
"As you can see," she says, "the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia...

Emergency Call

A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
"We need a fourth for poker," said the friend...

The doctor and the plumber

A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber.
The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did some mysterious plumber-type things for a while...