Clean Jokes



Don't Mess With Your Wife

After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep...

Don't Fart in Bed

This is a story about a couple that had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband`s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and...

Just Kidding

After being married for 30 years, a wife asked her husband to describe her ...
Her husband looked at her for a while and then said...

My Wife's Last Wish

A very sick woman on her sick bed said to her husband: Honey if I die, how long would it take you before you marry a another wife...?!
The man replied: Till your grave becomes dry my love...

Never Blame Your Wife

Girl, to God: I don`t want to marry. I am educated, independent and self-sufficient. I don`t need a husband. But my parents are asking me to marry. What should I do?
God: You are my finest creation...

Behind Every Successful...

During a company`s annual family trip to a crocodile farm in Thailand...the eccentric Boss dared any of his employees to jump into the crocodiles infested pond... and swim to the shore. Anyone who survived...

Sending A Signal

A young air force officer had a very beautiful wife. Early each morning he left his house and went to the airport, and an hour later his wife always left the house too, with a big white towel, and went for a walk...

The Good Old Days

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across...

Staggering Drunk

Randy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddies. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom...

Bud Light and Sweet Tea

A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue. Doctor: What happened?
Woman: Doctor, I don`t know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk on Bud Light he beats me up...