Clean Jokes



A Life To Be Envied

Two older, successful businessmen met at a resort. One who had recently retired was describing his life, "I get up late in the morning, have a light breakfast and then I lie down on my veranda...

Dealing With Bad Temper

A woman goes to the doctor, worried about her husband`s temper. The doctor asks, "What`s the problem?"
The woman says, "Doctor, I don`t know what to do. Every day my husband...

Speech Impediment

Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other, "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?"
"Yeah, sure thing...

Getting Married

With no warning and clear out of the blue, a husband said to his wife, "Honey, I have invited a friend home for supper tonight."
As expected, the wife wasn`t happy at being imposed..

Mind Your Own Business

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You`re cooking too many once at once...

iBitch Activated!

March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday and I got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn`t? I celebrated my birthday in July and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad...

Great Husband

Jenny was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was woman`s work! But one evening...

Ex-Wife!

Joe finally decided to tie the knot with his long-time girlfriend. One evening, after their honeymoon, he was welding some stuff in the garage, just for fun. His new wife was standing there at the bench watching...

Life of a Husband

Mr Jones drove his secretary home after she had had a little too much to drink at their new year`s office party. She was sooooo drunk. Although nothing happened, he decided not to mention it to his wife...

Stupid Wife

A man is in court. Judge: "You are accused of beating your wife to death. If you want to expect any mercy, you`ll have to give us a damn good reason."
Man: "She was so stupid, I just had to kill her...