Mature Jokes



Nude Painter

A man requested a female blonde painter to paint him in the nude.
"No," the talented blonde artist said. "I don't do that sort of thing...

Breast Stroke

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were having a breast stroke swimming contest to see who the better swimmer was. It was a 5 mile race.
At the finish, the redhead came...

All-Girls Trip

Dear Diary - Day 1: All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter decided on this "all-girls" trip...

Licker License

A guy orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blonde woman's boobs and splashes all over them...

A Blonde and her Dog

One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink...

Artificial Insemination

Phoebe, a blonde city girl, marries an Australian dairy farmer. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, farmer John says to Phoebe...

Come to Me

Two blondes approach the perfume counter. They pick up a sample bottle. Nancy sprays it on her wrist and sniffs it...

Emergency Flashers

A blonde is driving on the Interstate when her car breaks down. Easing it over onto the shoulder of the road, she carefully steps out of the car and opens the...

Nude Portrait

A man asked that the blonde painter, paint him in the nude. "Oh no!" replied the talented artist. "I'm sorry, but I don't do that sort of thing...

Blonde Genies

A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it rub. Two blonde genies appear...