A new primary school teacher starts her first day of class. She begins by asking students to stand and introduce themselves.
The first child stands and says, 'My name is Mary Johnson.'
'Thank you, Mary', says the teacher.
The second student says, 'My name is...
A husband and wife were screwing up a storm.
Afterward, the husband headed to the bathroom to clean up. He was halfway down the hall when his eight-year-old son also stepped into the hallway and was shocked to see his old man standing there wearing...
The telephone lineman had been out drinking the night before, and the next day he went to work not feeling too good. He climbed to the top of the first pole and as he took his pliers out to repair the wire he dropped them. He had to climb all the way down to retrieve them.
As he got to the bottom of the pole and was picking up his pliers, Little Johnnie...
Little Johnnie was very lustful for a girl living in his neighborhood. He invited her to dinner, and she accepted. After dinner, he drove to a little mountain about 5 miles away from the city, and told her: 'I want you right here and now. Do it or get out and go home!' Without saying a word, she got out and walked home.
A few weeks later, after a lot of...
There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire.
'Hey kid!' the farmer says. 'Where are you going with that wire?'
'Well,' the kid drawls, 'this here ain`t just any...
A little boy hears the word whorehouse in school and asks his father what it means.
His father is quite shocked, and replies, 'Well, uh... you go there to... have a good time.'
The boy starts screaming and hollering that he wants to go there too, but...
A teacher asks her class if anyone could use the word `indefinitely` in a sentence. Little Johnny raises his hand at the back of the class.
But the teacher knows he`s a trouble maker and that he doesn`t know the answer, so she calls on Jim
Jim replies, 'Due to the weather, school was...
In a second grade class, a little girl asks, 'Teacher, can my Mommy get pregnant?'
'How old is your mother, dear?' asks the teacher.
'Forty,' she replies.
'Yes, dear, your mother could get pregnant.'
The little girl then asks, 'Can my big sister...
A third grade teacher always took roll call each morning and had the students answer by reciting a short poem.
The first kid sat in the first row was a teacher`s pet.
He stood and said, 'My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think...
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.
The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way. The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father.'
The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn`t wear his collar like that.'
The priest looked up from his book and answered...