Mature Jokes



Good Manners on a Dinner Date

During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students: Students, If you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom....

Nobody's Around

Once, there was a man who was upset by his past deeds that he decided to visit a church and confess all of his sins. When he arrived at the church, he walked to the confession area and spoke to the pastor...

Spit or Swallow?

Little Johnny had a first date lined up with a woman he had been after for quite a while. When she finally consented to go out with him, he wanted to plan the most romantic evening he could. He picked her up...

Pussy Grinder!

In Little Johnny`s classroom, the teacher gave the class a homework assignment. She wanted them to tell the class one talent that they had and that they were especially good at. The next day the Teacher calls on Mary...

Little Johnny in Love

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her young students so she took him aside after class one day.
"Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I`m in love...

Johnny Strikes Again!

Teacher: Children, tomorrow I would like you to give me an example of a development that is currently being built near your home and what are the advantages of this new development. At the end of the class...

I Wanna Suck!

One day, Little Johnny`s teacher, Miss Figpot asked the class if they could name some things you can Suck or Lick!"
"Ice cream, ma`am!" Little Mary answered.
"Good, Jane." Miss Figpot said...

Big Words

Teacher turns to her class and says, "Today class, we are going to pick out some big words and use them in a sentence. Jenny would you like to go first?"
"Yes Ma`am. Hypocrite. That boy was a hypocrite...

The Guessing Game

One day Little Johnny heard his parents talking in the living room, and went out to see what was going on. They were playing the Guessing Game, so he decided to listen.
"I`ve got something big, round, and red in my hand...

Fucking Mosquitoes!

Little Johnny is standing on a street corner swatting mosquitoes. Every time he sees a mosquito he utters, "Fucking mosquitoes, fucking mosquitoes."
Just as the boy says it, a shocked priest walks up and says