Mature Jokes

Right in the middle of lovemaking, the husband dies of a heart attack.
As the funeral arrangements are being made, the mortician informs the widow that he cannot get rid of her dead husband`s rigor mortis hard-on...

A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and had not been seen for five days...

A bride stepped out of the shower on her wedding night wrapped in a robe. Her husband said, "You don`t have to be shy now - we`re married."
So she took off her robe to reveal...

A man walked up to a farmer`s house, and knocked on the door. When the farmer`s wife opened the door, the man asked if she knew how to have sex...

Mr. Brown comes to his wife, "Honey, could you be sewing on a wee button that`s come off of my fly? I cannot button my pants."
"Oh Dear... I`ve got me hands in the dishpan, go up the stairs and...

Two women had been having a friendly lunch when the subject turned to sex.
"You know, John and I have been having some sexual problems...

The old couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were...

The wife has been going through the female menopause lately and has become very conscious about her body.
She got undressed in front of me and said...

There were these two women who were friends and neighbours. One noticed that the other always seemed to have lots of new goodies; jewelry, furs, latest fashions, frequent hair salon trips...

A woman has been married for seven years, has six kids and is tired of being pregnant. So, she goes to talk to her priest and the priest tells her to go buy a...