Mature Jokes



The First Night

A naive couple got married and celebrated their first night together doing what newlyweds do, time and time again but with the lights off.

Morning came, the groom went to the bathroom...

A Quick Screw?

Bert and Mabel were a week away from their wedding day. Bert was beginning to get major stirrings so he decided to chance his arm. "Er, Mabel, as it is only a week to the big day, how`s about a quick...

Not A Big Deal

A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife, "Honey, I got a new secretary, and imagine what happened! She`s got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite...

Two Or Three Children?

Some newly married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up. The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him. They discussed this...

Weird Sex Fact

A family was all together recently, just hanging around. The sister was browsing through an almanac and laughed at a little piece of trivia she had found in the book, which she then read aloud...

The Magic Desk

Stanley is looking for a new desk for his office and he spots one that looks perfect in an antique shop window. He goes inside and asks the shopkeeper how much it is. "That desk is going for...

Do You Have A Vagina?

A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door.She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there.
He asks the lady, "Do you have a vagina...

Joe`s wife was sick. Very sick. None of the doctors could figure out what was wrong with her. He was about to go into her room and visit her when her doctor approached him. The doctor said...

Crumpled up $50K

A wife asks her husband, "Have you ever seen Twenty Dollars crumpled up?" She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 buttons of her blouse... and slowly reached down into the cleavage created

My Wife Stinks

The Russian couple`s sex life was terrible, so they were quite excited when Moscow`s first sex store opened up across the street. "Olga, why don`t you go out and buy some of that feminine deodorant...