Mature Jokes

A husband and wife are campaigning for a friend who is contesting the local elections. They both become so busy that they do not think of anything else but about the elections, so much so, that...

A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asks: "What's that for...

A woman was having sex with her lover in her apartment, Suddenly she heard her husband arrive. She told her lover, stay like statue and Don't move.
Husband, "Who is this...

A man was brought before the judge and charged with NECROPHILIA (having sex with a dead person) The judge told him, "In 20 years on the bench, I've never heard such a disgusting, immoral thing...

A man answers the door after he hears a knock. It is his next door neighbor holding a notebook. "Want to participate in an orgy?" he asked.
"Who is going to be there...

A salesman was testifying in his divorce proceedings against his wife.
"Please describe," said his attorney, "the incident that first caused you to entertain suspicions...

On his return from a long journey, a travelling salesman bursts into an armoury shop with a rifle in his hands.
"John, hurry, I need some bullets. I am going to shoot all dirty guys...

A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her...

After the holidays and all those delightful, seasonal treats, a husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tells your fortune and weight...

Mr. Smith asked his wife for advice about his upcoming court case in which he could possibly win $50,000 from the insurance company.
"Honey, if I lie, I'll win the case...