Mature Jokes

Three prisoners, an Italian, an American and our Santa attempt an escape from Alcatraz, but are caught and must be punished.
Prison Guard: 'OK, the higher authorities has prescribed punishment of three lashes each, but you may have on your back the covering of your choice. So...

Santa and Banta were sitting in a coffee shop...suddenly the Town`s Fire Alarm went off. Santa jumped up and headed for the door. Banta shouted...

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to Banta in an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.
'Last night I made love to my wife four times,' the Frenchman bragged, 'and this morning she...

Banta and his wife were lying in bed one night. (Since they have small children, the universal-parent coding system for sex is washing machine.) Banta turned to her and said in a seductive voice, 'washing machine.'
Being the hard working parent she was tired and so she said...

Mr & Mrs. Banta, a middle aged couple, are watching TV one evening when an evangelist comes on and promises to heal the sick. A voice on the TV said, 'If you would like to pray with him, place your right hand in the air and place your left hand on...

Banta telephoned his doctor and began shouting hysterically down the line. “Help me doctor. What on earth shall I do? My 6 year old son Monu has just swallowed a condom...

Mrs Banta enrolled in nursing school and was attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day was “involuntary muscles”
The instructor, our Santa, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks Mrs. Banta if she knows what her...

A female computer consultant was helping our Santa in setting up his computer and she asked him what word he would like to use as a password for login.
Wanting to embarrass the lady, Santa told her to enter...

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm.
His wife turned over and said, 'I`m sorry honey, I`ve got a...

The weather was very hot, so Santa wanted desperately take a dive in the nearby lake. He didn`t bring his swimming outfit, but who cared ? He was all alone. So Santa undressed and got into the water. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming...