Clean Jokes



Trumped!

There were two rich brothers who looked great on the outside, even attending church regularly, but whose hearts were evil.
A new, more astute pastor arrived at the church. The congregation grew and a fund raising campaign was...

Going To Heaven!

A pastor at a frontier church ended a stirring sermon with, 'All those who want to go to heaven, put up your hands!'
Everybody enthusiastically raised their hands, everybody except a...

Majority rules!

These four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth.
One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual '3 to 1, majority rules' statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to...

Heaven or Hell?

There was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business, so she did a lot of flying. Flying made her nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her.
One time, she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and went back to...

Last wish!

Father John walked into a pub, and said to the first man he met, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'
The man said, 'I do Father.'
The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'
Then the priest asked the second man...

Lunch

An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways.
She decided she would take her lunch, sit with the workers and talk with them.
She put her sandwich in...

Welcome to Hell

Joe was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign, hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passers by pulled him from the wreck and revived him.
Joe began a terrific struggle and had to be...

Jesus saves

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.
Finally God said, 'Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better...

Woman's arm!

A preacher, who shall we say was 'humor impaired,' attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry.
Among the speakers were many well known and dynamic speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, 'The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't...

Attractive offer!

A pastor explained to his congregation that the church was in need of some extra money, so he asked them to consider being more than generous. He offered that whoever gave the most would be able to pick three hymns.
After the offering plates were passed about the church...