| A blonde and her redhead friend were talking about sex... Blonde: Tell me, what is sex ? Redhead: Sex is when you dress up, go to a bar, flirt with a guy, he buys you drinks. You go to bed and he leaves some money on your table. Blonde: And what is good sex ? Redhead: Good sex is when you dress up, go to a bar, flirt with a guy, he buys you drinks. You go to bed and he leaves lots of money on your table. Blonde: And what is love ? Redhead: Love - That's an ethnic minority invention to avoid leaving money on the table. |
| A very well-built young blonde was lying on her psychiatrist's couch, telling him how frustrated she was. "I tried to be an actress and failed," she complained. "I tried to be a secretary and failed; I tried being a writer and failed; then I tried being a sales clerk and I failed at that,too." The shrink thought for a moment and said... "Everyone needs to live a full, satisfying life. Why don't you try nursing?" The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful breasts, points it at the shrink, and says... "Well go ahead, I'll give it a try!" |
| A Blonde couple were in a car parked on Lovers Lane and the young man turned admiringly to his pretty date and said, "Gee, you smell terrific. You wearing perfume or something?" The girl blushed charmingly and confessed that she was wearing a new perfume that she'd bought especially with him in mind. "You smell good, too," she aid, "What do you have on?" "Well, I have a hard-on," blurted the young man," but I didn't know that you could smell it." |
| A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other." He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along." So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10-Meter board, and did a two and a half tuck gainer. This was followed by three rotations in jackknife position, where he straightened out, and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel. She said," That was incredible!" He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along." So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After about thirty laps she climbed back out and lay down on her towel hardly out of breath. He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?" "No." she said, "I was a hooker in Venice and I worked both sides of the canal. |